Yeah, well we were married 35 years

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-­‐swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, ‘Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies, ‘Yeah, well we were married 35 years.’

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Jesus decided to help St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
A very old man approached and Jesus asked him,"How have you lived your life?’ The old man replied, ‘I was a carpenter.’ Jesus looked closely at the old man. ‘Is it, is it....you, father?’ The old man peered back at him. ‘Is it you, Pinocchio?’

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A teacher was taking her class for a walk in the woods ‘Now Mary, ‘she said.
‘What do you call the outside of a tree?! ‘I don’t miss,’ said Mary. ‘Bark, you silly girl,’ said the teacher."Bark!’ ‘Oh all right then, ‘said Mary. ‘Woof, Woof!’