I’m a frayed knot

A piece of straight, clean string goes into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves the drink; the string downs it and walks out. Ten minutes later a dirty, twisted, ragged piece of string walks into the bar. ‘Here - are you that piece of string that was here ten minutes ago?" asks the barman - ‘No’ replies the string ‘I’m a frayed knot’.

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There are these two sausages sizzling in a frying pan. The one turns to the other and says ‘gees, it’s hot in here’ and the second one turns around and goes ‘AAAAH!, a talking sausage’.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says to the mushroom. ‘Hey we don’t serve your kind here.’ The mushroom says ‘why not I’m a fun guy’.