I know what you mean

Farmer Fred has an American farmer visiting him. The American farmer is boasting about the size of his land in the United States: ‘My land is so big, that it takes me two hours to drive around it by car.’ Farmer Fred is silent for a while. Then he nods and says: ‘I know what you mean, once I had such a car, too.’

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A visitor to a small country town noticed an old man playing chess. On closer inspection he saw that a dog was sitting opposite the old man and the dog was moving the chess pieces. The visitor asked the old man if the dog was playing chess and he replied ‘yes’. ‘That must be one extremely intelligent dog’ said the visitor. ‘Not really’ said the old man, ‘I win more games than he does!’.

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Three men were on a boat and they wanted a smoke. They had a packet of cigarettes, but no matches. So how did they get to have their smoke? Don’t know? Simple. They threw one of the cigarettes overboard and then the boat was a cigarette lighter!