There are hundreds!

Bob recently bought a new car and is driving back home on the M1 highway. Suddenly the music on the radio is interrupted and a special broadcast is heard ‘This is breaking news, there one car going the wrong way on the highway M1, drivers please be aware!’ Bob looks around and says ‘One? There are hundreds!’

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A man walks into a pub where everybody else is having coffee with cream. ‘I would like a coffee. No cream on it.’ ‘Sorry, we ran out of cream. Could it be with no milk?’

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As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead racoons. ‘Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?’ she asked. ‘No, thanks,’ replied the vultures. ‘They’re carrion.’