They’re menthol!

Two jelly babies walked into a bar with their friend the Hard Gum. When they went up to get drinks, some cough sweets went up to them and started hassling them. The jelly babies were a bit scared and went to the Hard Gum to ask for a bit of help. He replied, ‘I’m not going anywhere nears them, they’re menthol!’

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A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.  A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied ‘I don’t know, it all happened so fast.’

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I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that`s it. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.