He eats shoots and leaves
A cross and hungry panda went into a bar and, without ordering a drink, demanded a bowl of free bar‐snacks. The bartender refused: ‘Those snacks are for paying patrons.’ So the panda grabbed the nearest bowl, gobbled up all the snacks. Then he pulled out a revolver, shot the bartender dead, and stalked out. The patrons all asked each other ‘Who was that masked marauder?’ The quiet little guy at the end of the bar calmly answered: ‘That was a panda. He eats shoots and leaves.’
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This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, ‘Pack your bags sweetheart, I’ve just won the lottery, all six numbers!’ She says, ‘Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?’ He replies, ‘I don’t care...just pack & shove off!’
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There were two boys called manners and shut up. Shut up went to the sweet shop and manners went to the fish and chip shop. The shop keeper said to shut up. What’s your name and shut up said shut up. The shop keeper said that’s not nice where’s your manners. In the fish and chip shop said shut up.
