Can you swim?

‐ Can you swim?
‐ Some times
‐ What do you mean by ‘some times’?
‐ Only when I’m in the water.

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A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office dressed only in saran wrap. The psychologist takes one look at him and says, ‘I can clearly see you’re nuts.’

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.