You are very sick

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too...’

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A man goes to the doctor and says, ‘Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.’
The doctor asks, ‘What do you mean?’
The man says, ‘When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.’
The doctor says, ‘I know what’s wrong with you - you`ve broken your finger!’

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Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.