Like a newborn baby?

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said:
‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains.
I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’
Slim said, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby. ‘Really! Like a newborn baby?’
‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’

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Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

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A man was telling his neighbor, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art.
It`s perfect.’
‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’
‘Twelve thirty’, he replied.