School Ahead, Go Slow!

Teacher: ‘Why are you late, Joseph?’
Joseph: ‘Because of a sign down the road.’
Teacher: ‘What do a sign have to do with you being late?’
Joseph: ‘The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!`’

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The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’

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The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, ‘Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?’
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, ‘I guess you’d be eating alone.’