God, may I have a penny?

Physics Teacher: ‘Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?’
Student: ‘Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.’

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A man talking to God:
The man: ‘God, how long is a million years?’
God: ‘To me, it’s about a minute.’
The man: ‘God, how much is a million dollars?’
God: ‘To me it’s a penny.’
The man: ‘God, may I have a penny?’
God: ‘Wait a minute.’

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A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, ‘Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.’
The mother exclaimed, ‘But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?’
The little girl replied, ‘My homework.’