Nobody`s perfect!

Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?
A: "Nobody`s perfect!"

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Yo mamma is so ugly, when she brought a pig into Walmart, the manager said, "Get that pig out of here," and the pig said, "Sorry, it won`t happen again!"

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Coach: "Why are you late for the game?"
Caterpillar: "I had to put my shoes on."