Wikipedia: I know everything!Google: I have everything!Facebook: I know everybody!Internet: Without me you are nothing!Electricity: Keep talking bitches!###Son: Dad what’s the difference between confident and confidential?Dad: Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That’s confidential.’
###A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, ‘You’re driving too fast!’ His wife says, ‘Stay more to the left.’ After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, ‘Who’s driving this car - you or your mother?’