Healthy relationships rely on effective communication. It is the lifeblood that keeps connection and understanding alive. However, despite our best efforts, certain communication mistakes can creep in and undermine the foundation we have built with our loved ones. Couples who struggle to communicate usually have chronic, unresolved conflict, making it difficult to deal with issues such as money, sexual intimacy, children and work. Although good communication between partners looks different in every relationship, there are some basic principles to keep in mind. In addition to the basics, there are also some common mistakes that you should watch out for in a relationship.
Common communication mistakes in relationship
Amanda Twiggs, Certified Marriage and Relationship Coach shared in her recent Instagram post five common communication mistakes that can ruin your relationship.
1. Using "Always" and "Never"
When we use these in communication we are lying because there is really no such thing as always or never. It's black-and-white thinking. Our partner will immediately look to disprove your fallacy so don't fall into the trap of communicating this way.
2. Blaming statements
Saying “you make me feel” can make your partner feel blamed and may trigger their defensiveness. Besides, no one makes anyone feel a certain way. They might activate feelings inside of you, but they are not creating them. You are responsible for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
3. Vague expectations
Our partners are not mind readers. Thinking they should "just know" what you want or need is a trap that will bring misery. If you want something specific, say it. Clear communication beats assumptions and vague expectations.
4. Silent treatment
This is a really quick way to make your partner anxious and pursue you even harder for answers. If you do it, it's probably because it was done to you as a child. How did that feel?
5. Threats of breakup
"Maybe this just won't work out between us' saying in a moment of anger, causes insecurity in your relationship and activates your partner's threat response. Impulsive threats destabilize trust. A moment's anger shouldn't risk your relationship's security.
Source: Hindustan Times