Chap goes to the doctor, who examines him and says ‘Hmmm, OK, go over to the window and stick your tongue out’. ‘But’ protests the chap ‘I’ve only got a sore knee!’. ‘I know’ says the doctor ‘but I hate that bloke across the road’.###A guy goes into a restaurant on Christmas morning for breakfast. The waitress serves him his eggs Benedict on a large and very shiny, metal plate. The guy says, what’s with this plate? The waitress says: ‘It’s Christmas, and there’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.’###Two ladies were walking in the woods when they saw a raccoon on top of a tree stump. The first lady asked, ‘What do you think? Do you think it’s rabid? The second lady answered, ‘No, raccoon.’