A mother-in-law sent two ties to her son-in-law. Some weeks later, she was invited for lunch, and so he wore one of them in the hope of pleasing her. The meal was a tense and uncomfortable one, with the Mother-in-law maintaining a stony silence. Finally she spoke. Alright, what`s wrong with the other tie.’###A boy was walking down the street when he was stopped by a man holding a sofa. The man said to the boy ‘Here you go you can have this sofa for nothing I don’t need it anymore’ the boy thanked him and took the sofa home to his dad. When he arrived home his dad went mad, the boy said to him ‘Dad I thought you would be pleased’ his dad replied ‘No son what have I told you about taking suites off strangers’!###A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class. ‘In English,’ he said, ‘a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.’ A voice from the back of the room piped up, ‘Yeah, right.’