Jokes

Be cheerful

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,"You`re really doing great, aren`t you?"Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: `Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."The doctor said, "I didn`t say that. I said, `You`ve got a heart murmur; be careful."###An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.He went back in a month and the doctor said,`Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.`The gentleman replied, `Oh, I haven`t told my family yet.I just sit around and listen to the conversations.I`ve changed my will three times!`###Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, ."Now don`t get mad at me .I know we`ve been friends for a long time, but I just can`t think of your name!I`ve thought and thought, but I can`t remember it.Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"