- Hi, John! I have heard that you died three times already!- Hmm, but you’re no better – you haven’t come to any of my funerals.###A priest tells the prayers:- We have one good news and one – bad ones. The good thing is that we have money for the repair of the church. The bad one – the money are still in your pockets.###In a shop:- Give me a roll of toilet paper.- What color would you like? - White please, I will color it myself…