Two kids were arguing when the teacher entered.Teacher: Why are you arguing?Kid: We found a 20 dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the finest lie.Teacher: Shame on you. When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.The kid gave bill to the teacher.###Wife: Will you please give me the news paper, please?Husband: How backward you are! People have reached to moon... Please take my tablet and use it.Wife: Taken the table and killed the cockroach with it.Hubby: Insane!###Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.