When I see lover’s names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s cute. I just think its crazy how many people bring knives on a date. ###My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.###A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ‘Oh, damn it,’ he proclaims, ‘Some asshole has my pen!’