Patient: "I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."Doctor: "Try taking the spoon out."***Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I`m just kidding!"***Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."